Nostalgia;

"Throwback Thursday" always makes me extremely nostalgic, and because of this I started to try to figure out what exactly makes me nostalgic about the past. You can't really be nostalgic when you have future things to look forward to. I'm no longer nostalgic for my horses, or ponies, past, because I have three horses with fantastic futures to look forward to. I'm more excited for Dodger, Remi, and HR than I ever was for Splash or Cisco, Pony Finals included.

What's the absolute worst thing about nostalgia is that we're most often nostalgic for feelings.

What's the worst thing about my nostalgia is that I'm nostalgic for pain. I miss emotional pain so badly that I would go back to a time where I had it. I've become so numb to the idea of caring about someone that every boy in my life is so irrelevant and I'm beyond detached. I miss feeling something. I more than anything miss feeling something for the person that's single-handedly cause me the most emotional pain I've ever felt in my entire life.... excuse me while I call my own self stupid. 

This picture brings back so many memories it's ridiculous... and it was taken out of spite. 

That's nostalgia, my friends. Everyone speaks of this "nostalgia" with somewhat high regards... but it's shitty. It's miss the things you can't go back to. It's the things you lost. 

-3

My Home Run

Sorry for my absence, but my composition class I'm taking this semester has re-inspired me to write on a daily basis.... and what better way to force myself to sit down and write than by writing about my horses on a daily basis.

So expect to hear more from me and my daily (or semi-daily) struggles.

With that being said.... I'd like to introduce my newest struggle:

So it's not the most flattering picture of either of us, but it shows how to-die-for in love I am with him and I think he's an excellent addition to my pack of equines. 

However, he's definitely a challenge. I have a new job (I'll explain in future posts) that is basically how I stumbled across this guy and how it worked out well enough that I'm blessed and fortunate enough to take on a third horse in full training (dear God).... cue struggle #1, college senior with three horses (spread across two different barns) and a full time schedule. 

Struggle #2 is that he's completely different than any horse I've ever worked with. He's an Off-Track Thoroughbred... which sure yeah he's green but he's a drastically DIFFERENT kind of green. Where most of the horses I've trained have been uninfluenced by any training, I have the task of re-training him from track horse to hunter/jumper. WOO.

Sarcasm aside, I'm extremely excited about him and what his future holds regardless of which ring he ends up in.... and also eternally grateful for my patient mother who follows me into the depths of my horse ventures!

-3